dark inside..

where there is a beginning
but no end
where you dive into deeper depths
never to return ashore…

saturated with cynicism
saturated with the vigor of life…

where there is no mind, no body,
no soul
where memories haunt
and future fails to beckon…

where the dark appears bright,
fleeting moments of peace
bring stinging pain…

where hope plays its atrocious game,
long after you have lost all you can..
where it ceases to be the panacea...

where nothing remains
though nothing is taken
where everything fails to explain itself
everything fails to comprehend itself..

where welled-up hysteria begins
to give away

out of reach…??
out of sight…??

or jus say tantalized.....................


08:30 pm
07-12-04

This is one of the darkest poems I have ever written..
As usual, it remains very special to me for many reasons.. :)

PS: 1. I generally refrain from naming my poems..
Hence, the title is for the post and not the poem itself..

2. This one is dedicated to one of those few people who enjoys
dark and ironical stuff.. Here is to ya, SUCH.. !! :)

Incomplete...

Jaane kya dhoondta hai, ae mera dil..
Tujhko kya chaahiye zindagi.....

Have you ever wondered as to what (or should I say who ;) ) completes you...? That which you seem to have been looking for..? Oh! Wait.. In the first place have you ever felt incomplete..?? Ever felt that there is something that you should be having..?
Dont confuse this with the feeling of not being satisfied or the feeling of wanting more..
The one I am referring to is something like.. you have almost finished doing a jig-saw puzzle.. N you think you are getting there.. and you dont find the last piece!
No, its not your purpose in life..
not the goal you have sought out to achieve..
not that one thing you always wanted to do..
not your last wish.. not your ultimate ambition..
not that dream which you always wish would come true..
something beyond all that......
probably a deeper sense of 'your being'.. maybe what is called soulful..
something that you feel is a part of you and still is not with you..
something that you know is there and yet not quite..
hm.. dont know if you are with me..
If you still are (:D), go ahead..
To me falling in love is trying to find that something..
Trying to find that one last piece of yourself..
Wanting to share that one moment of glory, where you feel united with yourself, with that other being.. be it the same sex or otherwise..

This song from Madhumati sung by Lata Mangeshkar has so much more to it.. The tune is haunting.. mesmerizing.. And the lyrics will remain with you forever if you feel them in the song..

here are the lyrics for those of you who prefer it in the devanagiri script..
And here are the lyrics in english.

I love the way she has sung it.. You can feel the pain in her voice..
Check it out..


PS: I wish Backstreet Boys had not used the title for their song.. Although, the song is pretty good, them using this as the title kinda spoilt the effect of the word itself.. :)