Thursday, February 24, 2005


Hmm... Its been such a long time since I penned down my thoughts... The reason being that I have been analysing myself and whats happening around me so much that I havent found the time or interest to do other things.. Basically I am this extremely self-critical person and I look for perfection from myself. Offlate too many things have been happening and at one point of time, I found it vey difficult to deal with a variety of people each of whom is very important to me.. I have been struggling to be my normal self for quite some time now.. WHAT is my normal self like? well.. dont ask me.. am yet to figure that out too... :)
Even right now, there are too many thoughts running parallely in my head for me to focus on one of them and continue with that train of thought.. Guess, THAT is one thing 'normal' to me.. 'parallel processing'. I have always found myself 'juggling' between things, people, places, thoughts, ideas, emotions.... u name it n u've got it! Note that I said 'juggling' n not 'shifting or moving'... That simply speaks my state of mind I guess.. Am quite clearly lost.... :) And I love it like this...! Coz i interest myself.. N theres this urge to get to know me better.. Since no one else can feel like that for me n definitely not consistently, this process of digging deeper into myself is even more thrilling and exciting..!! feel privilged to be the only one doing this! Call it being hyper or silly..well.. this is me.. not packaged to please anyone else but myself.. :)
PS: If u lost interest mid way, dont blame u.. has happened to many who have dealt with me..