Friday, July 29, 2005


I took some mood analysis test this morning..
the analysis is based on the order in which u choose colours that r displayed to u..
here is what the test said.. :D

The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.
Always anxious to accept the role of the leader, as indeed you often work well with people - but try to stay out of the limelight. You'd like a life of ease with no one to rock the boat and someone who understands you is so important in your life.
Everyone has to compromise at times and circumstances are such that at this time you are feeling the need to do just that. Put all of your hopes on the back burner and let matters flow for a time - forgo some of the things you want. The good times are just around the corner.
You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.
You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non-fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself... all is possible to him who believes.

okie! now the disclaimer..
most of the above is certainly true.. but well, not all..
upto u to figure out which is which..

ps: here is the link if u wanna try it -
first time am blogging from work!
feels great.. :D

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

one little smile :)

Had a great time at work today.. enjoyed the class… got to know few more people from our batch.. awesome fun we had.. :) ours in one total othla batch! (if u dunno what that means am sorry but I know not an English equivalent of the same!) we are all like jus about to sprint out of the campus when it is 5 PM every single day.. n we generally start our sessions around 10 30 AM or so.. he he!

And yes, Our access cards got activated today!! Yippee!
Feel like am working, finally………..
Although, I guess only my first salary will complete the feeling in the true sense.. :-P
Wondering why am reacting so??! Well… if u r not me then u have every right to think so..! he he!! :D
I was down and low the whole of yesterday afternoon and evening and a little part of this morning for some sane or insane reason.. Went jus on time to the bus stop.. Phew! Hp Bus routes and timings have been revised owing to the addition of more than 50 buses or more to the already plying 35 buses or so! Man! Are they recruiting in truck loads or what?!
Anyways.. I got to office pretty early and went straight up to the canteen (very unlike me..) after I got my temp pass renewed.. And as I waited for my plate of set dosa and turned towards the counter to check on the supplier, I saw someone whom I hadn’t noticed until then.. it was this girl.. never seen her before at GDIC (that’s Global Delivery India Center, a division Hp, for you).. and then she flashed a smile…. :)
And she was gone with her food within 20 seconds..
Ya.. so what is the big deal?! Ha?
Well.. that made my day! Trust me….
Someone whom I had never ever even seen in my entire life made me smile.. finally..!
Dunno what triggered that.. cuz it was not like we exchanged a glance before that.. N then we saw each other again and she happened to smile.. u know how it normally happens at workplaces?
It was rather unusual.. Dunno what my looks gave away.. but, it was as if she was saying.. Relax.. Today is another day.. a new day.. N u ought be smiling and embracing it.. :)
It changed my mood instantaneously… before I realized I was feeling much better..
I have been a loner for the greater part of my life. Never really felt the need for company and support from people around me… I enjoy it.. completely.. but never felt the ‘need’ if u know what I mean.. but here I was today, feeling absolutely lonely and lost.. and utterly hopeless… n one smile from an unknown person worked like an instant cure…
Worked like magic..
all the people who r dear to you , who u know and interact with can sometimes make no difference when you need them… n one little smile from some unknown corner lightens ur mood like that! :)
During class there was this little SMS that a good friend, I have known for longer than I have known most other friends, sent.. a message that said nothing extraordinary.. nothing that he doesn’t tell me everyday.. but the way it was worded today made all the difference.. broke into a grin in the middle of a boring class on client server concepts.. and mind ya, a repeat class at that! :D
Little things these maybe..
Certainly not trivial…

Will always remember this day.. it means more to me than I can explain..
Thank you stranger..
Thank you my friend.. :)
I dedicate this blog to the two of you…
Loads of love..

Friday, July 22, 2005

tagged! he he!

Two tags!! well.. I really hope there is no such thing as one post for each tag..
anyway, here goes.. :)

Three names I go by:
aparn, appy or appi and Aparna. apster is one of my faves btw.. :) There are lots more, one of which I certainly don’t like!!

Three screen names I would like to have:
a. Sushmitha Sen
b. Cleopatra - not really a screen name.. I know! well,have always thot it to be a mischievous sounding and also a mysterious name.. :)

c. Lingo leela :D

Three physical things I like about myself:
a. My eyes – lots of my friends agree with me.. :)
b. My hands… don’t ask me why! :D

c. My nose... to me it looks like the perfect-for-a-nose-ring types! He he!
few more things actually.. but well, not here! Sorry! :D

Three physical things I dont like about myself:
a. My height – wish I was jus a little taller..
b. My hair – not curly, not straight!
c. I get easily affected by d weather..

Three parts of your heritage:
Soapy tells me this is anything to do with you and your family..

dont know how far he can b trusted! Well..

1. We have quite a huge 200 odd yr old house in Kanakapura constructed using mostly just mud..
truly ancient and beautiful..
2. Emotional intelligence is pretty characteristc of both my maternal and paternal families..
3. Guess my ‘best-of-both-worlds’ personality.. he he! Thanks to dad’s brains n mom’s sensitivity… :)

Three things that scare me:
1. Death – not my own..
2. The thought of ghosts and the like.. never read harry potter or lord of the rings cuz black magic scares me! Or even seen a horror movie in ages..

3. scared that I ll get breathless every time I get into even 5 feet deep water..

Three of my everyday essentials:
1. Telephone – landline or cell..
2. kaajal
3. my gaadi.. for the last 5 yrs.. not much these days, due to work..

Three things I badly want to do before I die:
1. Adopt atleast one kid of each gender and also live completely by myself for atleast an year..
2. Go on a world wide tour..
3. fly a plane towards sunset or sunrise..

Three careers I am considering:
1. Running a pre-school and teaching kids..
2. Interior Designer
3. A Commission Agent who helps procure seats in Blore engineering colleges..

Three places I want to go:
1. Salzberg
2. Outer Space – anywhere in space actually.. the travel fascinates me more than the probable destinations.. :D

3. The next Football World Cup Finals match..

Two truths and a lie (in no particular order):
1. I have more than two sides to me…
2. We recently got a pet dog..
3. I love the world and its people..

I tag Siri :)

PS: btw, both of you... I dont know three more ppl to continue this thing! I can manage to tag one person.. sorry!!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The First Innings...

Today was my first day at work and at my first job :)
This is said to be one of those days that ll always remain in ur memory.
For me it certainly will be..
The mild nervousness….
The excitement….
The anxiety….

The will to excell...
The feeling of independence..
Added to this, the pinch of absent-mindedness and trance-like feeling that I went through this morning was one of its kind!
Walked into a room filled with 140 odd absolute strangers!
It was fun watching expressionless faces and unsmiling people..
I, for one, spoke to everyone I could possibly speak to on the first day.. ha ha! poor them!! :D

The background work that went into today was even more fun than today…
Shopping around on Comm. Street in the rain with two wonderful friends, sure is a lot of fun. Was a great destresser! He he! :) Thanks an! Thank u junnie!

Got to know a million things(literally) about Hp today.

An information overload of sorts…. (Even in the programming sense!)
N this after jus 3 sessions.
N we have 15 sessions to go!
But then, walking back home felt great!
Hey, but am far too young to be this old!
Aint I?! :)

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Memories of a Village City.

As the train pulled into the station slowly, several fond memories of my destination ran through my mind. During the journey I recalled how I would always end up eating ‘madduru vade’, ‘kadle kai’ and ‘sapota’ , when I was much younger and how I would religiously throw little coins into the two branches of Kaveri and how I would play with any person who would happen to be anywhere close to our seats! The short ride in the rickshaw reminded me of days when I would pester my mom or whoever else would accompany me (he he!) to call for a Tonga guy. Horses always fascinated me. And so did bumpy Tonga rides :)

For several years, the city of my birth, Mysore, was my summer and winter holiday destination (any other school break longer than a week would qualify as a vacation as well :D) and no vacation was probably ever complete with a whole lot of visits all around the city. Visits to the Zoo, the KRS dam and Brindavan gardens, Chamundi Betta, the Palace and Art Gallery were a half yearly or atleast an yearly affair. Not to forget looting mom n dad at the Dussera Exhibition every year. He he he!! Somehow buying kutti coloured umbrellas, little bags, and wooden toys during every visit to the KRS dam or exhibition became mandatory.

Being the first grand daughter at my maternal grand parents place, I was this totally pampered kid.. and man, I enjoyed it!
Still do.. :)

My uncles and aunts awaited my going there, as soon as my annual exams got over. As a little kid, guess I was pretty mischievous. And a total source of entertainment to everyone around... he he! My family runs a printing press there, which used to be a type press before and I would try and compose lines for them using metallic letters and would make such a mess! Supposed to have composed one whole debit voucher (which for some reason I thot was debitocher!) and without any mistakes at the age of 9 or 10.. :)
Going to the ‘city’, as the business oriented localities of the place are called, on the luna (yes, mysore was and even today, is typically known for the unbelievable number of lunas of various models that u would have never ever seen in Bangalore!!) and riding back, sitting on the reams of paper and the like, that were purchased was, for me, a total treat! Visiting the several client factories to receive and deliver orders was another fun activity then.
Playing with ever so newly bought badminton rackets in the evenings with all the grown ups in the house was a matter of pride :D The Saraswathi Puram Park or the lovely ‘kukkarahalli kere’ and manasa gangothri campus were among favorite evening haunts.

Well, I could go on forever about everything associated with this wonderful place and I would still have things left to say and describe!! My little visit this week made me realize how much those days have helped shape me as a person. Although, Long walks on lovely roads were a part of my routine this time as well… honestly, I missed school and missed summer hols even more.. :(
Sadly, the place has started getting the busy and oh-so-corporate feel of Bangalore, with food worlds and coffee days coming into the city (no thanks to the advent of infosys and wipro and the like) More ‘scooties’ move around than dear old 'lunas'. Cyber cafes have become a matter of every galli, although thankfully not as much as Bangalore.
Being not so advanced and yet so cultured has always been characteristic of Mysore and this according to me makes it as unique as it is and truly a retired man’s paradise.
A place certainly worth being in.
And a place that will always be my little haven.
Hope to go back there more often and probably even for ever, much later :)

PS: I dedicate this blog to my family in Mysore - thatha, ammamma, mama's, athe's and the 4 little ones... :)

Sunday, July 03, 2005

An untitled blog

A song full of sorrow..
A mundane life..
A want for more..
An anger unhidden..*
A chance that was never taken..
A horse never ridden..
Fragile thoughts..
A dream unfinished..
An incomplete note..
An unlearnt moral..
A story unwritten..
A page unturned..
Unspoken fear..
A broken arrow..
A sword unused..
A mind unexplored..
A hunger for raw flesh..
A bird unable to fly..
A law unadhered to.. *
Memories of nothing..
An unfinished masterpiece..
Today begins and Tomorrow dies..?

* dunno if these words actually exist.. n I dont care if they dont.. they fit into my lines n I like them like that.

offlate, I have written lots of dark and wierd stuff. this one is the latest in the series.. :) why? how? dunno my answers this time.....

ps: have noticed that there has not been a single comment on this entire blog! proly cuz the content drives away the comments.. or maybe its me who drives them away.. as usual.. :D but well, I really wud appreciate any kinda suggestions, remarks or anything else posted. Thank you. :)