Tuesday, December 19, 2006


For the last week or two I have been introspecting more than usual..
I have been trying to gauge what people really feel/ think with respect to me.. I know people who love me wont judge me.. n my actions and words wont be misconstrued.. what about those who either dont know me or who are in a working relationship with me or who are mere acquaintances..? For years, I have not bothered what this second category of people thought about or felt towards me!
Off late, I have been having some problems mostly due to this outlook of mine..
During the course of this introspection, I realised that people infact, expect you to value what they think about you..! You yield to them and pay attention to what they think about your personality and be rest assured you will lose your identity.. You dont yield to them, and they assume you have given them the liberty to talk behind your back.. maybe I shud add rubbish after the 'talk'..
I found that a lot of people mostly misread one's confidence, one's looks and more than anything else, they misread little suggestions if you happen to give them (whether out of concern or the longing for the sense of control depends on you really)..

At work, I noticed so many things that just dint seem to fit the scheme of things..
For instance, We have outings from work where we have events organized.. we sing, dance, enact plays, play different games as a team etc.. These outings are meant to be platforms for people to display talents other than their 'coding' expertise.. I have actively participated in all these outings singing, dancing, playing et all..! simply cuz I love doing these things!
While some people have been generous with praises and have been encouraging towards me, I realised in just the last outing that there are some people who dint seem to have anything at all to say..! And strangely enough, I found them appreciate other performers.. And them being close associates and some more than colleagues, this kinda disturbed me initially, and puzzled me later on.. And then, I started wondering why they were behaving so..
I found some reasons after much digging and observation.. tried doing a thing or two to change impressions and opinions..

But soon... I found myself saying 'Who gives a damn, anyway?!'