What is Maturity?

I think Maturity is an over used word.. Often misunderstood, misconstrued… and more than half the people who believe that they are infact mature human beings are probably not aware of its significance, meaning or implications..
Anyway, take a look at the following piece.

Maturity is
1. Asking for help when you need it and acting on your own when you don’t.
2. Admitting when you are wrong and making amends.
3. Recognizing that you always have choices and taking responsibility for the ones you make.
4. Having an opinion without insisting that others share it and not letting this difference of opinion affect the regard or respect that you have for someone.
5. Having the courage to live one day at a time.
6. Seeing that life is a blessing.
7. Accepting that you will never be finished and you will always be a work-in-progress.

Dated 28-04-03
The Times Of India.

This has been something that has remained a benchmark for me ever since the day it was published.. And I think it aptly describes what maturity infact implies and demands someone to be..

1. How many of us actually ask for help when we need it..?? I have often seen people struggle to balance coffee mugs and breakfast plates and what not… when all they have to do is just ask for a helping hand from the person standing by, who is only punching his/her mobile.. :D
This would probably only be if we would not assume that people will/should volunteer to help us even when we pose like we don’t need it at all.. :)

2. This is something that tests your character if u ask me.. So many of us find it difficult to just say ‘am sorry’ even if it is oh-so obvious to everyone around that the fault lies with us.. Whether its a simple thing such as spilling a cup of coffee or something more complex like saying or doing something that hurts or annoys another, most of us tell ourselves that this is a part of the person we are and that the world around should only be ‘mature’ enough to accept us as we are... :) ‘C’mon! This is the way I am. Being a little clumsy or being a little hasty and insensitive sometimes, is not all that bad is it? ’ haven’t u heard that somewhere?? Is this complacence? Is this an excuse? Or am I being idealistic?

3. guess this kind of follows from 2..

4. a. Okie!! How many of us don’t do this at all??! Am not raising my hand either! :) For instance, I have had so many million people trying to convince me that Ms. Aishwarya Rai is indeed more beautiful than I think she is.. One guy even went to the extent of saying “you are not as good as her.. so, you are jealous and cant accept that she is so beautiful!”
my reaction??
@#$&#@*&@#%*&@#@%$% &^**$#$@$
but… Naaah!! I dint bother!
But well, what I guess is important, is to realize the fine difference between being assertive about your opinion and standing up for it (if required) and trying to enforce your opinion on someone…

b. The latter half of the same pointer is again very relatable to ha? He/she doesn’t have the same food habits as me or play the same sport or adore the same actor/actress, like the same channel, same television program… and so on and so forth and therefore I don’t like him/her.. Or he/she is not as good as me.. Or he/she is unspeakable to!!! The ability to accept differences and not let them affect relationships or affect the regard and respect for another individual is rather scarce in our world today.. what say?

5, 6 and 7 are rather big picture pointers.. shall leave them to the reader…

I would just like to add that the author concluded the above quoted piece by saying

“Are you a mature person today??”

unweathered...

As one friend of mine rightly says, there are mostly just two kinds of friends.. the ‘fair weather’ ones and the ‘unfair weather’ ones..
Now, that is pretty self explanatory.. yes.. Let me try and explain what that means to me though..
To me, fair weather friends are simply those with whom u share ur longest laughter.. who bring joy to you.. who add spice to your life.. who are with you when you are happy and gay and all bubbling with energy, when u have ur best to present to the world.. when the sun shines and the moon smiles.. n the beautiful colors of the rainbow make your life seem more worth while.. in cheerful parties and merry making.. when all u want is to blow up ur cash.. when you know your life is so wow! that u could ask for no more.. when all goes well… but these people would rather not be near u when u cant b your best...
…And u will find plenty of people of this type all around you..

And, Unfair weather ones are those friends who seem to always be there when you need a helping hand with life.. when u don’t seem to be able to manage on your own.. when u need a shoulder to cry on.. when u want someone to cling on to.. when u want to crib about all that has gone wrong and all that can.. when u want support and company to make you stable and sure of yourself.. when u want to define your purpose in life.. when u want to sort things out.. when u feel shaky and weak.. when u r down and low.. n everything seems out of place..
but these people cant for anything in the world realize that u r more than just a pile of sorrows and that ur lows are not the only things that define you or ur life..
…And you will find a fair number of such buddies as well..

And then there are those friends who are jus there… always..
Through thick and thin and in the right sense of that phrase..
For whom life is but incomplete without you..
who live a part of your life for you..
Those angels who make every day sunny and bright by just being a part of it.. who make life an absolutely wonderful and enriching experience.. whose thoughts revolve around not just their own lives but yours as well.. who are friends for the sake of friendship..
who stick with you in fair and unfair times…with whom u have laughed and cried.. with whom u can be completely yourself and not when u r happy or down, but always..
who can feel happier for you than you can feel for yourself and who can also get into your shoes when u cant handle it alone.. who complete ur life.. whom nature has destined to set examples.. to be role models.. who know u in and out.. the way u know urself and want to be known.. who mean more to u than u can ever describe.. who symbolize the 'ultimate friendship' if there were to be one such thing.. :) with whom u wanna live and die.. and who are simply larger than life..

"...no one can ever know me..
no one can ever see me..
since u r the only one who knows what its like to be me...."
- Rembrants

this is my salute to the few such people in my life..
who are irreplaceable..
who are a part of me and will always be…
who r my greatest assets..
thank you..
I may not say this often.. but u know what u r to me..
life is beautiful only cuz of you.. :)

PS: this one is for you sweetheart.. I would never have known what friendship is if I hadn’t known you..

poetry at work..

tranquil inside
spell bound or otherwise
haunting sounds of silence
joy of companionship?
forever alone?
wavering minds...
mad lillies tossing their heads...
xtension of your 'self' or more?
married to yourself?
romancing with your ego?
and yet a battle of the 'selves'??
hold your hands,
touch your heart,
promise yourself,
you'll always be you...
and more........


09-08-05

ps: my first peom at work.. during a training session, to be more precise... :)